Six Months and I am still not over you ..

As of today's afternoon it will be six months since you left. Since you left me without a warning and for what? For a silly reason that is not worth talking about. Was our love so fragile? At the beginning I felt like I can just put you out of my mind, and start going out and dating again. I thought I would replace you in a blink of an eye and I thought I could get over you in a day or two. But I was so wrong.



Six moths has passed and still cant take you out of my mind and out of my heart. I thought by now that you would have been completely forgotten and replaced. Little I knew that now after all these months the hurt became more real. Now I came out of my denial to your abandonment of me and out love. Now the hurt is more real, more felt and more painful.

Maltoosh menAwsom guy

thank You

I feel the emptiness in me bigger than ever, I feel this big void that you left in my life. I feel I am loveless and incapable of falling in love again. How can I fall in love when every minute of every waking hour I am thinking of you? How can I get over you when you are running in my blood and in my system? How can I forget you while I still remember each word we said to each other?



Now more than ever I feel I need you so badly, I need to hear your voice once more I need to look into your eyes. How could you have done that to me? This question I never asked before because I did not care to know why, but now it is living inside me. How could you have left me? Was I living an illusion? Was it just a good time you were spending with me? I feel like I just have been used. There is one line in one song that is stuck in my head "Take me back in time maybe I can forget. Turn in different corner and we never would have met.. Would you care?"



How dare you do that to me? I am out of my denial and in my anger toward you and toward myself. All my life I have never let anyone so close to my heart because I was afraid of being vulnerable and submissive to her heart, and eventually get hurt. Why did I pull down my guard and broke my wall and ran over my pride and surrendered my heart to you so you could step all over it and tearing it apart killing me and what could have been my only chance on love and life.. leaving me just shattered memories of what used to be a full man.



How could you do that to me? How could you make me feel this lost inside? Six months have passed and the pain is still their. The longing for you has increased; I just can't stop thinking about you and can't stop waiting for you to call me once more. I am willing to give it all up for one word from you. Six months have passed and I am dying in them 100 times a-day.



For the next six months I will survive you and I will get over you and I will replace you and never looking back. I swear on everything that was between us that there will come a day when you will come back to me asking for my forgiveness and love again and I will never take you back. I will make you cry and I will make you beg and I will watch you bleed while I am feeling no mercy for you. What we had was the best that you could ever have and the best that anyone will ever give you. But you lost it all and some people just don’t deserve good things in life.